Hot Chocolate (This Side of Paradise)
by emisonxx
Summary: An innocent one-shot of Emison before their lives got complicated. Rated T, maybe M if we continue with the story.
1. Chapter 1

Hot Chocolate (This Side of Paradise) – An innocent one-shot of Emison before their lives got complicated. Written with kayweston, because she's adorable and helps me finish these stories. This may turn into a series between the two of us about Emily/Alison innocently exploring before Ali disappears. Enjoy xx

x-x-x

The Hastings house is quiet, but not silent. The sound of crickets chirping outside can be heard through the window as early spring air flows in, settling in a cool blanket over the five girls spread out in Spencer Hasting's bedroom.

On the bed, the witty book smart brunette is lying on her side with a heavier set blonde girl on the other side. At the foot of the bed, dear Aria with a light pink streak in her hair lies very still, snoring softly.

Alison DiLaurentis lies spread out in the large chaise, her electric sparkling blue eyes half open as she scans the room. Her eyes land on the body on the window sill, curled up and angled away from her. She feels a strange feeling in her heart as she glances at the angelic girl, and then she feels a very strange feeling in her stomach, going to her core, as she sees the large exposed areas of skin from the angel's shorts riding up and her shirt slightly lifted.

Deep down, in a place that she wasn't ready to admit to other people, Alison _knows_ that Emily Fields is the only person who makes her weak- the only person she can be herself around. Slowly, she pushes herself up off the chair and tiptoes over to the window, frowning as she sees all the little goosebumps on the smooth tan skin. She can't sleep- not when her mind is going a hundred miles an hour with thoughts of Emily who lies less than a few feet away from her.

Cautiously, the blonde leans down, her fingers daring to touch Emily's face, and she lets her lips ghost over the brunette's, barely touching each other. She feels butterflies explode in her stomach as she quickly pulls herself away while Emily stirs, but doesn't wake. Her heart pounds out of her chest wildly as she holds her breath, but the brunette doesn't open her eyes.

"Yes."

Alison's eyes shoot wide open and her ears perk up as she realizes that Emily is speaking, or rather, mumbling in her sleep.

She stands, frigid, waiting for another word to be spoken, but none comes. Frowning, Alison leans down again near Emily's ear, her lips tracing over it.

"Baby," she whispers but the term of endearment sounds so _foreign_. She tries again. "Emmy. I love you."

She pulls away quickly and watches as the brunette stirs and shifts.

"I love you too, Ali."

The words are faint, and almost incoherent, but Ali can hear through the thick sleepiness. Alison sighs. She wants to know for damn sure if the brunette has feelings for her or not- whether Emily is gay or straight, is irrelevant to Alison. She'll always care for her regardless. It's how she herself feels that terrifies her, it's what keeps her up at night.

Luckily, she thinks, Emily is a fucking saint- the girl can do no wrong. She would _never_ use the fact that Alison liked (loved?) her against her, would never view the queen bee in a negative light as weak or vulnerable. But Alison is who she is- vicious, cruel, vindictive, and jaded. And Emily is who she is- kind, sweet, loving, and timid.

Timid. It's the one thing that bothers her the most about the brunette. If only her mermaid knew how beautiful she was, how much value she held- she could destroy Alison's queen bee position in seconds. And sometimes Alison thinks she wouldn't mind that at all. Because if there's anyone she'd want to see take her spot, it's Emily. Someone who truly deserves it. And Emily sure as hell does with how she tries so hard to be good- no, _great-_

"Ali?"

The blonde jumps a bit as she sees sleepy brown eyes staring at her confusedly as the swimmer's body adjusts to sit up.

"Emily you scared me," Ali scolds lightly with a frown, her eyes narrowing as they always do when she's teaching people a lesson.

"Sorry," Emily mumbles half asleep, a sheepish smile taking over her sleepy features and Alison fights the urge to smile back. "Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why?" Emily asks with furrowed brows as she stifles a yawn.

"I've got a lot on my mind," Alison confesses truthfully, going over to sit adjacent to Emily on the window sill. She loves these moments when she can let her guard down, like there's no one else in the world except her and her mermaid.

"Like what?" Emily asks innocently.

"You don't want to know," Alison dismisses her with a shake of her head and stares out the window.

"I always want to know," Emily points out casually and as their eyes meet again, Alison is taken aback by the sincerity shining through in them.

"Emily," Alison says slowly, trying to avoid talking about it. "Some things are better left unsaid. Understand?"

"No," Emily shakes her head, still half asleep, and Alison quirks her head curiously. "Say what you need to. It'll make you feel better."

"Let's go make hot chocolate," Alison says jumping to her feet and looking at Emily expectantly who looks back with a confused glance. It's the first thing that comes to her mind- Spencer's parents have the _best_ hot chocolate mix. And she's never been one to actually confront how she's feeling, a true emotional avoider.

"Okay," Emily agrees with a nod and sits up, stretching, and Alison gulps as she watches her shirt ride up even more as she pulls her arms up.

The two of them stumble out into the hallway into the darkness, and Alison leads the way to the kitchen, creeping down the stairs softly. She doesn't want to wake the other girls, doesn't want anyone in her world right now except Emily.

Caught up in her thoughts, she doesn't notice that she almost misses a stair and is about to tumble forward as Emily grabs onto her from behind and pulls her back, flush against her body.

"Careful Ali," Emily whispers in her ear worried but it sends shivers down Alison's spine.

"I'm fine," she says nonchalantly pulling away from Emily, trying to get her body to cool down from the brunette's touch. Because, goddamn it, _why_ is it _Emily_ who does these things to her? Alison is no innocent child- she's seen her fair share of dirty movies and videos, she's read books, she knows that this twisting feeling in her stomach she feels every time Emily touches her or gets too close is her body reacting positively to the brunette.

Her mind starts to wander as she saunters into the kitchen if Emily feels it too- and she almost whimpers out loud as she feels wetness pool at her core while at the mere thought of Emily being turned on too. She's a little confused, this is new for her- she's never gotten _that_ wet before so quickly, not even when she went out with Noel Kahn and he kissed her. He was lovely, and he smelled good, but he was a little rough and cocky, two things that Alison was and Emily definitely wasn't. Maybe it's true, opposites attract.

"Did you hear me?" Emily's voice snaps her out of her thoughts again.

"What?"

The brunette chuckles and smiles softly. "I asked if we should make hot cocoa for all the girls."

Alison vehemently shakes her head and it confuses the questioning brunette so she clarifies. "Emily," she says stepping forward boldly and staring at the beautiful brown eyes she dreams of. "This is our little secret. Just me and you. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Emily's voice trails off as she murmurs yes, and Alison smiles her charming DiLaurentis grin at her and bounces off to the cabinets to find the cocoa.

"I have this dream," Ali tells her in a husky quiet voice as she comes back over to Emily holding the cocoa powder. "We'll run away to Paris right? And we can spend a lazy afternoon at the Louvre. We can get chocolat chaud from Ladurée and go through the museum, wouldn't that be nice?"

"What else would we do?"

The question back catches Alison off guard- her mermaid is always too timid to answer her. But the brown affectionate eyes have darkened slightly, and Alison suddenly wonders what exactly is going on in the brunette's mind.

"What would you like to do?" Alison asks curiously, keeping her voice husky, as she steps forward so her face is mere inches away from Emily's.

"I…um…"

"Tell me," Alison purrs, not knowing the full effect she has on Emily but will quickly learn as the girl becomes putty.

The swimmer is awe-struck. Alison has never been like _this_ around her- and she's not even sure what this even is. She's wholesome, innocent, and pure- she has no idea what her body is doing and her cheeks turn bright red as she feels her panties get a little wet- it makes her nervous because she doesn't _understand_.

"I told you, so you have to tell me now," Alison leans forward and whispers it in Emily's ear. Now she's just interested in pulling the truth from Emily. She's Alison DiLaurentis- she can pull the truth out of anyone, she thinks. She needs to know. It's eating away at her.

"We c-c-c-ould get a nice hotel," Emily stammers and the blonde swallows, realizing where Emily's mind subconsciously was.

"And then what?" Alison asks, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper.

"A-a-and, um, we could, uh, cuddle," Emily suggests innocently and Alison's face softens, her smile genuine as her eyes gaze at Emily's body.

She catches the fact that Emily isn't wearing a bra- neither of them are, and she sees that Emily's nipples are hard, straining against her shirt- and it causes an intense heat to shoot straight through Alison's body.

Emily looks down to follow Alison's eyes and realizes in embarrassment what she's looking at.

"I-"

She tries to cover herself up as her cheeks flush dark red but Alison, with lightning speed, steps into her and grabs her hands, pinning them to her side. The blonde doesn't understand where this audacity is coming from- it's an exciting, sexual energy, she knows this much. But she's never felt this adventurous with anyone else.

"Don't," Alison shakes her head. She presses her body against Emily's and hears the brunette let out a gasp at the feeling of Ali's own hard nipples pressed against her. "I like it."

"I-i-it's not weird?" Emily asks fretting over her body's sudden reactions.

"No, Em, it's not," Alison sighs as she breaks away and grabs the hot cocoa before over to the cupboard and grabbing two mugs.

"Why do they do that?" Emily asks in a tiny voice and Alison almost drops the ceramic pieces as she realizes what Emily exactly is asking.

"Haven't you ever watched a naughty movie before?" Alison teases with a sparkle but when Emily shakes her head, she realizes just how innocent the brunette is.

"Oh," Alison frowns, not fully convinced yet. This sweet girl in front of her… she must have seen something. Anything. She tilts her head slightly and scans Emily, head to toes. But the timid brunette merely shakes her head once more and blushes fervently.

"Oh."

There's silence between them, and after Alison starts to boil water she gets dangerously close to the brunette again. They both gasp slightly and when her lips are inches from Emily's, she feels her breath become rapid and loud, and it makes her own breathing labored, and it makes her _hungry._

"Then I'm gonna have to show you some things," she whispers huskily and touches Emily's lips with her own – slowly, deliberately, softly. She nearly loses her mind when she hears Emily's very quiet, almost silent moan. This delicious feeling of control is wonderful, it sets her body aflame.

"S-sorry," Emily stutters as they pull apart and Ali looks at her through hooded eyes.

"For what now?"

"I…I…"

"You're okay," Alison reassures her, diving back forward, unsure of when she's going to get another chance to do this to Emily. Her hands reach behind and tangle in her hair as she presses Emily into the fridge and kisses her hard, the way others have kissed her before, and it's hot- it has both of them trembling- and it's passionate. But it's not _them_. Not yet.

"Wait," Alison breaks and steps back. Emily has to catch her breath, dangerously close to losing all sense of control. She doesn't understand this fuzzy haze that settles over her brain when Alison's lips are on hers- it's like she's paralyzed, and she likes it, but she doesn't want to slip up and do something dumb.

"Show me how you feel," Alison breathes, nervous for once. She doesn't want to push Emily away- not by a long shot.

So the brunette walks forward, and Alison can see hesitancy written all over her face while her hands shake.

She doesn't touch Alison really. She just steps in, tilts her head down, and lets their lips find each other, slowly and curiously. But she becomes more sure of herself and kisses Alison like she has something to prove.

It's tender, and it's everything Alison's been missing from her life- soft, sweet, affectionate- as if she's someone's _everything_. And well, she wasn't really anyone's _anything_. Her parents didn't care for her, neither did Jason, Noel had his eye on a zillion other girls, and everyone treated her as if they were afraid of her or lusted after her- nobody treated her like _this_.

The soft, gentle hesitancy that Emily presented made Alison melt. It wasn't that Emily was afraid of Alison, she knows that. Emily is merely afraid of messing things up. And Alison can sense that.

They hear a whistling from the stove and the two jump apart, breaking their transfixion with each other. They stand for a few seconds, staring, before Alison blinks and shakes herself out of it.

Emily wants to talk about it, she wants to say something- anything really- as Alison goes over to shut off the stove. But there's rustling upstairs and the two hear footsteps.

"Seriously, what are you doing at four thirty am?" Spencer asks, eyes half shut, as she rounds the corner into the kitchen with Hanna and Aria in tow.

"Making hot cocoa, sharing secrets about things you will never know about," Alison teases dryly with a wink towards Emily.

Hanna snorts from behind them.

"So basically you dragged Emily down here to bore her to death?"

"Watch it Hanna," Alison snarls and the sleepy blonde wakes up a little at the warning tone as she winces. "Emily has secrets of her own. Don't you Em?"

Emily stammers but Spencer cuts in with a retort. "Like what, Ali? What secrets could she possibly have? Like she skipped out on swim practice five minutes earlier than everyone else?"

Emily blushes again, it's moment like these when her friends fight about her that make her uncomfortable.

"I guess you guys don't know her like I do," Alison dismisses them with a smug tone and glances at Emily, a twinkling in her eyes. The brunette smiles back softly, and Aria quirks an eyebrow.

"Did we miss something?" Aria asks slowly, picking up on the vibes but Alison quickly shuts her down.

"If you must know, I was just giving her tips on how to kiss Ben," Alison waves her off and Emily thinks she feels herself suddenly crumble on the inside at the reminder of her boyfriend. Out of the corner of her eye, Alison sees her crestfallen face and she swears under her breath.

"Whatever, I want hot cocoa," Hanna insists as she stumbles to the counter and Alison rolls her eyes.

"Of course you do," she says in a biting tone and Spencer knocks her shoulder as she brushes past her.

"Watch it," the youngest Hastings warns.

Alison rolls her eyes and walks over to Emily who looks at her with sad puppy eyes.

"Don't give me that look," she says in a very hushed voice while the other three girls talk.

Emily doesn't answer, her face sullen and looking away.

"Emily please, _don't_," Alison orders but there's a tone of begging underlying the command.

"Just teaching me?"

"I don't know what that was," Alison lies harshly again. But she tries to ease the brunette back to a resemblance of comfort. "But I didn't mind it. Okay?"

Not wanting to fight with Alison, the brunette sighs and nods.

Alison turns her head to see the others busy around the stove, and she steals one last chaste kiss from the brunette who looks at her, shocked.

"Fuck Ben," Alison mutters darkly as she shakes her head and goes over to the girls, making snide comments left and right to them as she releases her frustration.

Emily sits at the corner of the counter, shocked. She looks up, and sees Aria staring at her with questioning eyes. The brunette shrugs, and Aria offers a sympathetic smile. And Emily wonders if she knows exactly what is going on. Because, she sure as hell doesn't. And she wonders if she ever will.


	2. Chapter 2

Again, able to get these chapters out so fast cause the brilliant **kayweston** is co-writing with me, and she writes so freaking beautifully. Here's the next chapter, enjoy.

**The Heart Wants What It Wants**

-  
>Nearly a week after the hot cocoa incident, Emily finds herself still day dreaming about her best friend. She's unsure whether or not she technically cheated on Ben (not that she cares, she's just unsure) because is it cheating if your friend claimed she was teaching you how to kiss? <em>Was<em> Ali really just teaching her how to kiss? She doesn't truly believe that, but she doesn't know what else to believe either.

But right now she's anxiously waiting for her turn to race at the meet, and she's trying to drown out all thoughts of- _oh sweet Jesus_.

From the bench where she's sitting, headphones in trying to concentrate, she sees a familiar blonde climb the bleachers with Aria, and a flash of white teeth as she grins brightly at Emily before smirking. Who gets dolled up to come to a swim meet?! She sees Alison wearing a dress that's way too short for her own good with too much cleavage, and- holy shit did she make a sign for her? Yup, she definitely made a sign.

Emily smiles feebly, attempting to regain her composure and Alison blows kisses towards her. Where the hell was this coming from? Alison rarely shows up to her meets, the last time she had left cause she was bored.

This does nothing but bring on the pressure for Emily. Her race is the last one, and this is a qualifying race for states. And she definitely doesn't want to look bad in front of Alison.

So when she dives, the whole pool area is in shock as Emily is a solid three feet ahead of everyone else to start, and maintains her speed and position. When she emerges from the water, gasping for air, she realizes she's won and she can distinctly hear her favorite voice shouting for her and cheering.

She's used to winning, she is after all one of the best swimmers in the state. But she's not used to all this attention from Alison. It's making her head spin. And as the blonde comes bouncing down the bleachers, with Aria in tow, Emily lets her in to the pool area as the meet disperses and Alison hugs her tightly, jumping up and wrapping her legs around her and Emily's eyes grow wide as she realizes the short dress is probably exposing Alison's ass so she angles her towards the wall so nobody else can see.

"Em you totally killed it!" Alison squeaks with pure joy as she pulls back to look into soft brown eyes that are glowing with happiness. "I knew you could do it."

"You didn't tell me you were coming," Emily says shyly as she sets Alison down but the blonde doesn't move her hands from around Emily's neck.

"The girls were talking about how nervous you were for this meet, and I didn't want to make you more nervous," she says with a wink.

"Emily!" the brunette turns as Alison reluctantly lets go of her to hug Aria. "I'm so proud of you! Your parents asked me to watch you race and they called to tell me your mom will be home tomorrow at six."

"Thanks Aria," Emi replies with a grin.

"So are you still going to Ben's to celebrate?" Aria asks with a wink and Emily swears she sees Alison's eyes darken.

"I was just asking her if she wanted to do something quieter to celebrate," Alison chimed in without missing a beat.

The wheels in her mind begin to spin- is _that_ why Alison came?

"I-uh-"

"Babe!" as if on cue, the rowdy boy appears and pulls Emily into a clumsy hug as he kisses her, and though she's not passionate in kissing him back, she still responds. And when they pull apart, the stormy look on Alison's face confirms Emily's suspicions. "You're coming over right? The whole team is gonna come. I can't wait to get you alone though."

"Actually, we had plans," Alison interjects with a biting tone, throwing Ben a distasteful look.

"Since when?" Ben asks annoyed.

"I forgot," Emily says sheepishly. "I told her we would hang out today."

"You just qualified for state championships, this is important, we have to celebrate," he insists.

"We are going to celebrate," Alison says with a smirk.

"Whatever," Ben grumbles, knowing that when it comes to Alison's friendship Emily was her bitch- or that's how he saw it anyway. But he wasn't blind, Emily was one of the prettiest underated girls in school and to be dating her was his dream. So he lets it slide, lets Alison win this one, and walks off sullenly.

"Ali," Aria interrupts quickly. "I have to run and pick Mike up remember? You're good?"

"Perfect," Ali says smugly and Emily realizes the blonde had this planned. "I'm just going back to Em's with her. Right?"

The brunette nods vigorously and when Aria smiles at her she sees a flash of sympathy.

"I'll see you two later," Aria hugs them both and leaves. The pool area has mostly cleared out, and they both stand together.

"You planned this didn't you?" Emily asks, quietly with what she hopes is a shy smile.

"Maybe," is all Alison replies thoughtfully as she looks away.

"You can trust me," Emily offers for Alison to tell her the truth. It catches her off guard as she sees the blonde smile sadly and look at her apologetically.

"It's not you that I don't trust," she replies simply with a sigh. "Are you going to go shower and change?"

"I should," Emily gets up and Alison trots behind her. The brunette is puzzled as to why Alison is following her into the locker room but she doesn't want to say anything. When they enter, it's empty. Emily signals that she's going to go change and Ali waves her off as she walks around the empty room, exploring. Emily quickly grabs a towel, heads to a shower, and pops in. She quickly washes the chlorine out and rinses off before she strips and exits with just a towel on. But as she pushes back the curtain she sees Alison standing there, waiting, bored.

"Ali!" she squeaks, caught off guard by the blonde's close proximity in the shower area.

"Wow, getting naked in the locker room are we?" she smirks.

"I have to change," Emily says getting red and pushing past her to go to the lockers to get dressed.

She finishes getting dressed without another interruption from Alison (thank god, cause she doesn't know how she would have survived). They go back to Emily's, upon Ali's insistence, and the instant they get in the house Emily knows something is up. Alison's vibes have been all over the place, but they're electric- and her eyes are dancing with mischief.

"Emily, remember our little secret?" Alison asks slyly.

"How could I forget?" Emily swallows. Alison quirks her eyebrow at her.

"Have you been thinking about it?"

"I…um…no-"

"Tell me what you've been thinking about," Alison commands, her eyes sharp and watching Emily closely.

"Y-y-you," the brunette stammers.

"Emily," Alison shakes her head with a smirk. She walks over to the brunette and takes her hand to place on her chest. "I think I need to teach you some things."

"I don't…I don't know," Emily mumbles nervously. This doesn't feel _right_. It's not what she wanted. She wants sweet, and kind Alison. The blonde looks at her confused for a second. It takes her a few moments to realize that Emily might not _want_ to be emotionlessly sexual. The thought makes her heart melt.

She clears her throat and stands still, waiting if Emily will say something more. But she doesn't, she just stares at her confused and vulnerable, and she looks so freaking innocent that it makes Alison shiver. It also makes her want to be her first…_everything_.

"Come closer," she finally says, and it was supposed to be an order but it sounds like a plea. Emily follows the request, slowly and cautiously closing the distance between them.

That's when Alison takes Emily's palm in hers, and she kisses the inside of it, and she looks Emily in the eye to see pure fear mixed with adoration.

"Do what you want," Alison murmurs, and Emily is pretty sure she might pass out. Ben. She has Ben. She can't do this, she can't do anything.

"Ali, I –" she stops as Alison kisses her palm once again, and why, just why are those blue eyes so dark? Or maybe she's just imagining things. She surely is.

"Ali, I have, I mean… Ben –"

"What about him?" Alison's voice is soft as she frowns with distaste and waits for the answer, and Emily can feel her heart quiver.

"W-We're together, and it's just…I can't –" Emily can't trust her own voice anymore, because she has no idea what the blonde in front of her wants from her, she doesn't know if it's a game, of practice, or if it's…

"Do you want to?"

"Ali," she starts and takes a deep breath. "I can't. I don't know what you want."

At that, Alison takes Emily's hand once again and puts it on her chest right where her heart is beating furiously.

"Don't you?"

"Me?" Emily asks in such a small voice the blonde blushes for her.

"Can I teach you something?" Alison asks but this time it's polite and respectful as if she's being genuine (and she is).

Emily gives in and finally just nods, her eyes transfixed on Alison's.

"You can tell what someone wants from the noises they make," Alison speaks softly. "And if I do this…"

She steps in and brings her lips over Emily's, ghosting them down over her chin to the hollow of her neck, sucking and nipping. The brunette whimpers and has to steady herself, and she feels the blonde smile against her throat.

"That means you like it," Alison says quietly. "Now you try."

There's fear in Emily's eyes, but they are also dark as midnight, no traces of her usual chocolate brown anymore. Alison would never admit it, but the anticipation is just too much.

Eventually, Emily smiles shyly (damn, that smile could melt a thousand hearts, and it's only for Alison's benefit that the brunette doesn't know that, has no idea how utterly beautiful she is) and leans forward to kiss Alison, while her hand lands on Alison's neck. And not on the back of it, rather on her throat – but it's gentle, delicate and really, _really_ innocently sexy. And when the brunette deepens the kiss by pouring more of herself into it, Alison gasps slightly. And it's then that shy Emily uses her tongue; it touches Ali's and it's all so heated and passionate and meaningful, the kiss being deliberately slow, sending something hot and wet between Alison's thighs. She moans right into Emily's mouth with a small whimper to follow it. And her fingers start to wander beneath Emily's blouse, her fingertips exploring every inch of the brunette's toned stomach- but suddenly Emily breaks the kiss.

"What's wrong?" Alison frowns as if she forgot her words from a few minutes before, her hand frozen on Emily's abdomen.

"So…" the brunette starts slowly, "you liked it?" The question is silent and unsure but Emily relaxes when Alison smiles fondly at her.

"Mhm," the blonde purrs, "and you well know I did." At that, she kisses Emily again, this time with desperation and need and she lets her hands wander. She doesn't know how they do it but they land on the sofa eventually and she straddles Emily's waist.

She doesn't give it much thought, really – but she takes Emily's shirt off and Emily's eyes widen, her breath hitches and _fuck_, does she look incredible.

"Mine," Alison breathes, barely above a whisper. She's in a state of awe and has forgotten who she is, what she stands for, and where they are.

It's only when Emily quietly replies "yours" with the sweetest smile that Alison realizes what she herself said.

That mental roadblock of her inability to convey emotion comes slamming down on her and she quickly jumps off Emily, scrambling to find the brunette's shirt. She can't do this, surely she isn't _in love _Emily. They're both so young, and they're best friends, and they're _girls-_

"Did I do something wrong?" Emily asks with apologetic eyes, clearly embarrassed and ashamed of herself as she wraps her arms around her body when Alison hands her the shirt.

The blonde takes a deep breath and clears her throat. "No, no I just figured now you know- you know what to do now, I guess," Alison shakes her head avoiding eye contact.

"Alison-"

"Drop it Emily," Alison snaps. "I'm going to go get some ice cream and we can watch a movie."

With that, the queen bee walks out of the room. Emily sits there awestruck as to how Alison could go from a sweet heart to ice queen in seconds, and it bothers her later on that she never figured out _why._


	3. Chapter 3

Even though **kayweston **will never admit it, she's the brains and talent behind this chapter (and most of this story). You should give her some love in the reviews cause this girl is shy about writing but damn I hardly have to work hard when I write with her xx

x-x-x

The next few days are sunny and beautiful, but Alison barely has the time to even realize that. Things between Emily and her got really awkward, and it felt like the girls were giving her questioning looks and like Emily was avoiding her presence at all costs. But what was the brunette really expecting? They're just best friends and she clearly wanted nothing more than to teach Emily. Right? At least, that's what she keeps telling herself. Because that's just the way it is, it isn't anything close to _love_ and it's not gonna be different.

The thought of being in love with Emily keeps crossing her mind and it scares the living shit out of her. How could she possibly feel _that?_ Emily even has to be confused. There's no way the kind brunette feels anything more for her than puppy adoration. That's what she keeps telling herself. Because if she lets herself fall for Emily, if she lets herself be that person, she's not so sure what will happen to the rest of her.

As she struts down Rosewood High corridors on a Monday morning, she hears weird conversations and strange whispers, and it confuses her. She loves rumors and secrets, but this time it feels out of place, and odd. The bits and pieces that she hears send weird chills down her back, and her mind can't fully process why.

When she's taking books from her locker, two guys from the football team walk past her and she would never actually notice them otherwise (those immature morons), but it's the things they say that catch her attention.

"Dude, I'm telling you, they went all the way this weekend!" one of them, the shorter one, exclaims.

"No kidding! Damn, Ben got lucky, I bet we can too," the taller one answers. They walk away and their crude laughter follows, and Alison flinches and freezes, trying to process what she's just heard.

She quickly connects the dots and slams her locker door shut. But there's gotta be another Ben. They can't be talking about Ben fucking Coogan. But then again – he could definitely cheat on Emily, of that she's sure. A douche like him would probably get tired of Emily not giving it up.

As she meets the girls in the cafeteria later on, Hanna looks at her expectantly. She furrows her eyebrows and looks at Emily, whose gaze drops on her own hands the moment Alison lays eyes on her. She's still avoiding her.

"Have you heard?" Hanna finally bursts, no longer able to control herself. Alison wears her indifferent mask and decides to play along.

"Heard about what?" she shrugs and does everything to look uninterested. Besides, if Ben's cheating on Emily, she'll tell her herself. She deserves better.

"Ben's telling everyone him and Emily had sex," Hanna chirpes back.

"Hanna!" both Spencer and Aria scold the cheerful blonde, and Emily fiddles with her fingers and continues looking at her hands, as if her life depended on it.

Alison's face darkens. How _dare_ he spread such lies about her girl? (Wait, her girl?) "And he's still breathing because?"

"Because it's true," Aria chimes in quickly.

"I can't believe Emily lost her v-card before the rest of us," Hanna obnoxiously adds.

Something is boiling in Alison's veins, and something hot is tearing her chest apart, it feels as if somebody is putting red-hot irons inside her ribcage. She hopes her face doesn't show anything. She gulps and looks at Emily, whose eyes are transfixed elsewhere.

"Is that true, Emily?" she tries to sound casual, she truly does, but she can't help her voice from cracking slightly. She can hear her heart pounding furiously.

Emily takes the courage to look at her for the first time and she manages to smile a very small, almost sad smile. She just nods gently and blushes.

She slept with him. She _slept_ with _him_. She let his hands touch her, undress her and she let him kiss her and lick her, and she let him…no.

Alison offers a venomous smile and says, her voice dripping with fake sweetness.

"Wow, Em. Congrats on a great decision. Now if you'll excuse me, I forgot I have something else to do."

She stands up rapidly and leaves the cafeteria, never looking back and not caring about people's curious glances. Not caring about anything.

As she enters the quiet hallway, she hears the cafeteria doors open behind her and footsteps behind her.

"Ali wait…Ali come on!" Emily's timid voice comes through and Alison ignores her, marching towards the music room. She knows Noel spends his lunch there, she knows Noel will give her what she wants but can't take from Emily.

But a tiny hand wraps around her wrist and snaps her backwards.

"Ali what's wrong?" she finally faces Emily as she hears her feeble voice and she glares angrily.

"You have five seconds to let go Emily or I swear I will make your life hell," she snarls and the brunette's eyes widen in shock like a puppy that just got kicked as she drops Alison's wrist immediately.

"What did I do-"

"Sorry, I don't associate myself with easy sluts," Alison says with such venom that Emily can only gape and stare at her for a few seconds. And when she does, the emotion that pours out of her astonishes Alison.

"Why do you care?" Emily asks bitterly, her eyes pleading for the truth and her hands shaking. "You were just teaching me right? Wasn't that the point? Teaching me so I could end up with _him_?"

"Shut up," Alison growls and advances menacingly towards Emily She doesn't know why she's taking out so much of her anger on the brunette, but she can't help it. This gut wrenching feeling inside her is the worst pain she's felt in a long time. "You've got to be a moron if you think I was just teaching you that for fun."

It's funny, because that's what she's been telling herself from the start. As if she's yelling at herself to wake up and realize the truth.

But she watches as Emily's eyes narrow in frustration and she can only gasp as the brunette grabs her and pulls her into the closest bathroom, locking the door and facing Alison once she's made sure they're alone.

"I lied okay? Please don't tell anyone. I didn't sleep with him," Emily tells her evenly, albeit a little hesitantly.

"Sure you didn't."

"Alison I didn't," Emily begins to beg for Ali to believe her. "I couldn't. He wanted to but I couldn't…I couldn't even let him touch me without it feeling wrong."

"_Did_ he touch you?" Alison demands an answer.

"I…he…"

"Where did he touch you?" Ali deadpans as she steps closer to Emily, backing her towards the wall.

"Um, just-"

"Did he touch you there?" Alison's gesture towards Emily's breasts and the brunette blushes deep red.

"Y-y-yes," Emily guiltily admits. The blonde frowns.

"And down here?" Alison gets out through gritted teeth as one hand drops down to point between Emily's legs.

"No!" she exclaims quietly.

"Did you want him to-"

"No!" Emily repeats, louder. Her boldness increases a little. "It didn't…it didn't feel as good as when you…when you touch me."

Alison looks at her through hooded eyes as she feels her own irises darken. But she can't give in though her face softens and she seems to calm down a bit.

"Oh, it didn't?" She tries her best to keep her voice aloof.

"It did _not_," Emily says once again, more forceful this time, and she takes Alison's hand in hers timidly, and plays with it, and it's so adorable that it takes all the willpower in Alison not to smile.

"And do you want me to do it?" Alison asks seductively, her voice husky and alarmingly low; she can't stop, she won't, and Emily merely nods, but her face- it's different, she could swear she sees desire drowning in there and she could get drunk in that look. But Emily shakes her off of that daydream.

"But...I don't know –" the brunette plays with her hair nervously, "I don't know who I am to you, Ali. I don't understand."

"Let's get out of here," Alison nearly orders, not willing to answer that question. At least, not here. Not now. Not in the school bathroom for Christ's sake.

"We can't skip classes Ali, it –" Emily's worried speech is interrupted by warm lips, as Alison kisses her lightly, reassuringly…_bossily_.

"Oh sweetie, of course we can." Alison winks at her and grabs her hand, pulling her along. They are out the school door before last period starts.

x-x-x

"What are we?" Emily asks, not sure of what to do with her hands, with her head, or even with her eyes. She's sitting on Alison's bed with the blonde standing in front of her, between her legs, facing her. Of course her parents aren't home, and _of course_ Alison conveniently slipped into a revealing thin shirt.

"Shhh," Alison takes the brunette by surprise and places one finger on her lips. She observes as the brunette's eyes flutter shut at that sudden contact, and she notices Emily take a very deep breath.

"Let's enjoy the moment," she utters softly and throws Emily a provocative look.

It seems it takes everything Emily has in her to pull away, like she struggles internally and almost winces at the sound of her own thoughts.

"Alison, I don't...I don[t want us to be like _that_. I want to know who I am to you. I want to know I matter."

"You know you do, Emily, and –"

"No, I don't! Okay? I don't know anything."

"Let me prove," Alison comes closer, her hands land on the back of Emily's neck, her lips on Emily's earlobe, "just how much you freaking matter. You have no idea."

"Ali, p-please stop. If you don't want to talk about it, I'll just g-go," Emily barely mutters as she shakes Alison's hands off of her, and she starts moving, but the blonde stops her gently.

Emily gives her this doe-eyed look of hers, and there's also a trace of hurt and pain. _Damn you Alison._

"You already said it yourself, you like it when I touch you," Alison mutters under her breath but looks affectionately at Emily. "You know you can trust me."

Whether Emily _truly_ knows that is unclear- but what is clear is how that statement makes her feel. Like Alison will _protect_ her.

"I want to be the first person you're with," she whispers with a smile that Emily can't decipher anymore- it's making her head spin to try and read into everything Alison does. "Sweet innocent Emily."

"Who was your first?" Emily manages to blurt out and Alison stops cold. She remembers that all the girls think she's lost it already. It's not like she dared to come straight out and say she was waiting for the right person.

"Like that matters," Alison tries to brush it aside but she should know better- it matters to the brunette who stares her down intently.

"Was someone teaching you too?" Emily asks curiously, trying to figure out the blonde.

"No," Alison simply says, pushing Emily backwards and crawling on top of the brunette who lies on her back- her chest heaving intensely as she stares wide-eyed. Alison leans down, her hair falling all around Emily's face and the brunette inhales deeply because, damn, she's addicted to Alison's scent. The blonde brings her lips once more to Emily's ear. "There was no first yet. You're not the only one lying."

She feels the brunette freeze beneath her.

"Really?"

"Trust me," Alison purrs but she kisses Emily softly and hums happily. "I'm waiting for the real deal."

"How will you know what that is?"

Alison looks lovingly at Emily- and the look haunts Emily for a long time. It's the first time she sees the queen bee completely unguarded, completely unashamed and _extremely vulnerable_. Like Alison really _trusts _her.

"Emily," she whispers, her voice dropping down to speak tenderly and quietly. "You'll know when it's right, you'll feel it."

She traces her fingertips lightly down over Emily's throat to her chest and outlines her heart.

"Promise me you'll wait until you feel that it's right. And I promise you, I will too."

"I promise," Emily finally dares to speak and her voice cracks nervously as she stares up into those dark, passionate blue eyes. Alison brings her hand up to cup Emily's face and presses her lips against hers gently, as if taking it all in. Her hand grips tighter as she deepens the kiss and her hips unexpectedly roll into Emily's, causing both girls to moan and pull apart.

"Em-" There's such hesitancy in Alison's face all of a sudden, and her voice is suddenly weighted with the burden of a heavy heart. "Does this feel right to you?"

Emily feels her heart still- she's not sure of what to say. She doesn't know, she really has no freaking idea.

"I…I think so. Does it feel right to you?"

"I don't know."

Alison's voice is ghost like, and she looks pained. But those three words break Emily's heart- she can literally hear it shatter. She sits up, and Alison quickly realizes how she's upset her.

"Wait, no, Emily-"

"Leave me alone, Alison, _please_," Emily begs and gets up, grabbing her backpack as tears begin to break through and roll down her cheeks.

"Don't walk out," Alison orders harshly, but Emily knows her better than anyone else- Alison doesn't know how to ask for things nicely under pressure. So she continues to walk out without looking at her unril Alison roughly grabs her again.

Emily whips around to look at her, tears falling, and she's surprised to see Alison fighting back her own tears with her mouth drawn tight and her fists balled at her sides in frustration.

They hold a silent stare. And then Emily shakes her head, turns, and leaves.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** My life has been CHAOS. Literally. It's been one whirlwind after another of work and then school and career shit. My laptop even fucking died so there's that. I'm only able to post this because **kayweston** did tremendous work on this chapter. She's amazing. Anyway, I'm trying, I swear to god I'm trying to reply to everyone asap because I miss interacting with people on here! So all you kind souls who leave reviews, I love and appreciate everyone of them.

Oh and also I flipped a shit when **OneWanderingMind** left a review cause I love her story(s). So you guys should check her stuff out too if you haven't yet, it's brilliant.

And trying to update my other stories :( as soon as this semester is over.

ANGST!

xx

"What do you mean she's still sick?" Alison growls with a biting tone as she glares down Hanna with her piercing blue eyes.

"That's all she told me, and that she needs me to drop off homework after school," Hanna hesitantly tells the furious queen bee.

"She texted you?"  
>"Yeah, didn't she text you?" Hanna asks now, confused.<p>

"I don't know, I haven't paid attention. I have more important things to deal with," Alison brushes her off with a lie but this is driving her _crazy_. Emily has been absent from school for the past two days- ever since she ran out of Alison's house. It's killing the blonde because they haven't texted, talked, or seen each other since. She doubts Emily is actually sick- that'd be too coincidental.

"I feel bad for her, she doesn't sound too good," Aria chimes in and Alison's head innocently turns towards the mini brunette.

"How so?"

"I ran into her mom at the grocery store yesterday. She said Emily's been in bed all nauseous with a headache. You don't think she could be preg-"

"God no," Alison says all too quickly shaking her head. "Emily's not pregnant."

"Well she better show up tomorrow, or she'll have missed too much school to compete next week," Spencer throws in as she walks up to the conversation. Alison nods absentmindedly. The wheels in her head begin to turn- Mrs. Fields had been working day shifts lately, she knew- so if she left now, she could make it to Emily's long before her mom comes home.

"Cover for me, I'm going to go check on her after English," Alison orders.

"I was just going to see her after school," Hanna reminds her but Alison glares at her warningly.

"And I was going to go see her now. What's your point? Cover for me."

x-x-x

The house is quiet, and surely enough Pam's car is missing from the driveway. Alison lets out a sigh of relief and lets herself into the house with the spare key. As she tiptoes up the stairs and peeks around the door into Emily's room, she sees the brunette lying very still on her bed facing the wall.

"Emily," she whispers and there's no response. She frowns. "Emily."

She tries again louder and then she hears her. "Go away."

"Nice try," Alison wears a subtle smirk and goes over to the bed.

The silence is thick and sinister, and Alison can almost physically sense Emily's anger and disappointment boiling inside the brunette. She can see that in her eyes, though Emily doesn't even look at her - she continues looking at the wall, but her breathing is rapid and her eyes narrowed.

"You're aware you'll have to talk to me eventually, right?"

"I said go away Alison," Emily manages to say, but the mentioned blonde doesn't take no for an answer. She does flinch at Emily not using her nickname, and she does feel the weird heaviness on her chest, but she doesn't even move an inch towards the door. She just lets herself sit down next to Emily's legs.

"Which part of go away don't you understand? I don't want you here," Emily's utters through gritted teeth, her voice alarmingly low.

"Em, sit up and look at me," Alison commands as she tries to take the duvet off of Emily, but the brunette is persistent.

"No!" Emily yanks at the duvet and the anger overtakes her. "Please just leave."

"Look at me."

"Leave."

"Em. Look. At. Me."

Alison's voice is soft yet firm, the tone has Emily shivering, and the blonde's cerulean eyes are sparkling eerily. When Emily eventually sits up, Alison takes a deep, shaky breath.

"You're the only one I can trust Em," Alison starts softly, and Emily furrows her

eyebrows with confusion. Alison sighs at that, acknowledging the disorientation.

"The only one I can… completely be honest with," she continues and gives Emily a tiny tight-lipped smile, the one reserved for… for the real thing only.

"You're not exactly doing an amazing job at showing that," the brunette grunts.

"I came to visit you didn't I?" this time Alison's voice is quiet and almost pleading, and if Emily doesn't know whether or not to believe the sweet undertones. "I made a banner for you at your swim meet- how many times have I gone to Spencer's lame field hockey games? Or Aria's poetry readings, or Hanna's…whatever Hanna does?"

"That's not the point," Emily mutters and Alison sighs again.

"You walked out on _me_ that day," Alison reiterates, trying to find any reason for Emily to really spill how she's feeling.

The brunette wants to scream- wants to tell Alison off and yell at her for reeling her in and then kicking her out- but she's not sure if Alison would even acknowledge that's what she did. So instead Emily just starts crying and it's all she can think to do because her mind is going a hundred miles a minute and she's immensely overwhelmed. And at first it's soft, silent and Alison doesn't even notice it because she's too busy fiddling with her hands trying to think of a way to fix things. But the silence grows thicker and the blonde picks up on the sniffling and rapid breathing and she glances to sees tears wetting Emily's sweet face.

"No, no why are you crying?" she gasps quietly in horror, the sight hurting her in ways she didn't think it could.

"Just leave me alone Ali," Emily pleads once more, covering her face and pulling the blanket up to wipe her tears on. She doesn't want to seem pathetic in front of Alison, but she feels like it's too late and all she can do now is hide.

The blonde looks around the room for a minute or two, anxiously, before she crawls off the bed, kneels in front of Emily and pulls the duvet down only to stare into watery brown eyes. Hesitantly she lays a hand on her face and leans in, shaking. She wants to do something to make the crying stop- all the pain and hurt and misery that she causes. And this is the only way she knows how. But as her lips graze Emily's, she hears the brunette choke back a sob and she pulls back instantly. Hearing her mermaid's pain brings her to a somber reality- this is only going to hurt Emily more in the long run.

So she stands up, retreating, and mumbles apologies before running out and down the stairs, dashing out the door.

When she gets back to school and the girls ask how Emily is, she snaps angrily at them and that's the end of that.

x-x-x

"Have you guys seen Emily?" Alison finds herself asking frantically the next night. She'd heard that the brunette finally made an appearance to the party they're at. Noel was hosting one of his infamous cabin parties and Alison had been draped on his arm until she heard someone mention they saw "Ben's girlfriend" show up and that he better "get her drunk and get it in tonight" because she'd been absent most of the week.

"I saw her inside near the drinks about twenty minutes ago," Aria tells her and Alison barely nods before turning but she feels the tiny punk haired brunette grab her wrist gently.

"Ali wait," Aria says hesitantly in a hushed voice. The blonde narrows her eyes, but she's always more patient with Emily and Aria- they annoy her less. "Is everything okay between you and Emily?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Ali asks with furrowed eyebrows. Has Aria figured them out?

"I just…was just wondering," Aria offers sympathetically. Alison looks closely in her eyes and she realizes that she's not oblivious, that she's aware something is going on but she may not know exactly what. "I don't want something bad to happen to your friendship."

"It won't," Alison reassures her and herself. She feels her heavy heart sigh and she looks sincerely at Aria. "She means too much to me for that to happen."

Aria, satisfied, lets go of Alison and the blonde smiles before running off to the kitchen.

And there Emily is, leaning on the counter, trying to pour herself a shot of tequila and failing miserably as the alcohol splashes out of the shot glass. Ben is standing behind her in a predatorily manner and his hands land on Emily's hips as he tries to whisper something in her ear, but she's fidgeting and turns around.

And that's when he offers the most obnoxious smile Alison could ever imagine, and he grabs at Emily's ass roughly, pulling her in towards him in a sloppy kiss.

"Ben no," she merely slurs and tries to untangle herself from his embrace, clumsily pulling away.

"Oh come on Em, you know you like it. Don't be a tease."

His words are dripping with lust, and he leans forward to kiss her again, still wearing that smile while she drunkenly gives in after a second of protesting.

Alison clears her throat loudly, unwilling to watch any more of this.

"What?!" Ben turns around, angry at being interrupted. He's drunk too, and his enraged voice is too much. Emily's eyes are cloudy, but she sees traces of fear in there.

"Leave her alone," Alison orders in a biting tone, "or I'll make you so miserable you'll never want to leave your house again."

"Ali –" Emily starts but Ben interrupts her with a snort.

"What are you, her fucking keeper? Mind your own business, bitch."

Alison feels her veins pulsating and she can hear the blood swooshing in her ears. She clenches her jaw and glares at him as she steps forward, and Emily jumps away from him, from them- but he clutches her wrist angrily, possessively. Alison's voice is seething, low, menacing.

"Listen, perv. If you so much as touch her against her will," she tilts her head and holds eye contact, her eyes narrowing, "I'm gonna tell every single person in this town how much of a fucking loser creep you are. And hell, I'll have witnesses to back me up."

Ben holds a furious glare with her. But there are traces of fright glistening in his eyes and his breathing quickens.

They stare at each other for what feels like eternity for Emily, and she tries to remain stable but she can't stop swaying and her vision starts to go in and out of focus.

Eventually, Ben snorts once again, shakes his head and leaves.

Alison turns to Emily who stands there like a deer caught in headlights. She starts towards her and then she watches Emily's eyes turn flash with betrayal and hurt.

"Don't," she simply says trying to back up and leave but she instead bumps into the table and hiccups, looking for an escape. Alison hates the glossy look over her eyes- like she doesn't see things clearly.

""You need to break up with Ben," Alison states matter-of-factly, and even though Emily knows somewhere deep inside that it's already over and that Alison's completely right, the anger and the memories from previous days overwhelm her.

"What? Why?" she mutters and looks at her feet. "You kind of did the deed yourself. Are you happy now?"

"I thought that's what you wanted," Alison insists and Emily shakes her head.

"You d-d-on't really know what…what I want," she slurs, suddenly seeing double of Alison.

"I do," the blonde replies fiercely as she grabs Emily and pulls her close. "I know you better than anyone else does-"

"I don't know _you_," Emily slurs back angrily as she rips away from Alison and stumbles off in the direction of another blonde and Alison watches with a tightly drawn mouth as Hanna catches her mermaid and looks at her questioningly.

Alison shrugs and storms off, angry at herself for not being the person that Emily deserves.

An hour later, she goes to the bathroom to sulk. And then she stalks out towards the backyard where she collides with a drunken body that she shoves off of her.

"Watch where you're going," she growls and recoils as she continues on.

"You watch it, _bitch_," she hears and her head snaps back to see Emily stumbling towards the house.

"Emily wait!" she runs over and stops her from going inside.

"Alison," she slurs as she sways forward and Alison has to catch her before she face plants.

"Come here," Alison mutters kindly as she leads her around gently to the side of the house where it's quiet and no one else is.

"What do you want?" Emily hiccups sadly as her head lulls.

"I need to confess something to you and I know you won't remember this tomorrow, but I have to say it," Alison whispers in a hushed voice.

"What," Emily manages to get out and she sounds so broken the blonde winces.

"I…I'm attracted to you," Alison says quietly but loud enough to be a solid declarative statement. "I'm attracted to you and I hate myself for it. Because you deserve someone better than me, and I'm scared of how I feel and I keep on hurting you. I know that I want you though."

She glances down towards Emily's cleavage guiltily and then looks back at her drunk mermaid's face.

"I always want you," she breathes out as she glances at Emily's gorgeous features, even while she's drunk she's beautiful.

She tries to make the most of the moment, tries to lean in and graze their lips but Emily turns her head.

"I'm not your p-plaything Ali," the brunette manages to slur, though she barely can keep her balance, and she tries to sound fierce but it comes out vulnerable and pained. "S-st-top messing with me."

"I'm not," Alison insists with a pained hushed voice. "I'm not I swear I'm not messing with you. Please believe me."

"How," is all Emily manages to get out with a painful squeak and it cracks Alison's heart.

"I don't know," Ali whispers as she lets her hand cradle Emily's delicate face and she shakes her head sadly, knowing she's made a real mess of things. "I'm sorry Em."

"I lov-v-ve you," Emily protests vehemently and desperately as she stares into Alison's increasingly watery blue eyes. "I always have. You…you know…I'd..I would do _anything_ t-t-o for you."

Alison breathes as she clutches onto Emily and pulls her close, burying her head in her chest. "I know."


End file.
